Been missing blogging since forever, damn it. No, I’m not kidding.
Though that last month I did the whole 30 days writing — or should I say mini blogging, on Instagram. It still does feel different.
Yes, I’m going to re-post every single thing that I’ve written for the 30 Hari Bercerita here as I have told ya on Instagram. But… I guess it’ll take time since I’ve been not feeling well. Started this Monday, I think I’ve been having “homesick”. Yes, that’s the sickness I’m currently having, the typical “I’m sick, and I’m missing home”.
Let’s just skip that part.
This whole day I’ve been feeling soooooo happy. Like there were tons of little happiness happened this day, and I have no idea why therefore I’m feeling grateful. Guess what? I couldn’t even remember when was the last time I felt grateful at all.
First of all, I had this Rapat Kerja BEM GAMA FIB Unpad Kabinet Arthasastra at 8am. But, since most of the people came late (typical Indonesians *sighs* though me too) it had to be postponed. And, it began on around 9-ish am. I usually don’t like this kind of thing, like for God’s sake I always had this feeling that I will only spend my precious time doing nothing while listening to something I don’t really understand. But today, somehow something has changed my perspective. I might say, that I did enjoy having such 7-8 hours meeting with tons of people that I haven’t known much.
Why so? I started to like the people in my department. Like, I enjoy being around them. They are fun. And they could make me feel like I belong there, and help me to find my comfort zone in the organization. Isn’t it just nice?
I was a little scared though, for the shit I’ve been through in these past three months. That I wouldn’t be able to find other “fine” circles, those I might call as home. Though for God’s sake, that’s like the most thing that I looked for since I touched down in Jatinangor, far far away from my real home. My family.
We took pictures then for the ID card after Raker, while there were only 7 of us. It took only approximately 15 minutes to get the pictures, but since we had a lot of fun it took longer, of course. But, the time is well spent, indeed. We laughed a lot, and it just feels like I have known them forever. Damn it, I’m not exaggerating.
Oh. During the Salat Jumat + lunch break, I had like an hour conversation with a really really really lovely Senior. Her name’s Elsa. I once wrote a part in 30 Hari Bercerita inspired by the picture she tagged me on Instagram. She motivated me a lot, and she helps me somehow to believe in myself, and to start loving myself. Maybe, that’s what I need the most recently, since like I’m having such a mental breakdown for something I shouldn’t really be bothered. She’s just so inspiring. How could she not? When after having only an hour-ish conversation with her, I kinda had a little promise to myself, that I will start to learn to love myself much more. I mean, how do I dare to ask the others to love me, when I haven’t even loved myself at all? That’s silly.
And because of that, when I got back home. I looked up to the mirror, and I learned how to tell the reflection that I saw on the mirror, that “you rock, girl”. Yes, I rock. “You’re the God of yourself, you don’t need validation from others. Do not ever let anyone control you and stop you from doing what you love. Fuck it.” Eventhough that wasn’t exactly what she told me, just pretend that it’s. *laughs*
When I started to enjoy looking at my-imperfectly-perfect-self reflection on the mirror, someone call me on LINE. It’s Bang Ridwan, a Senior fellow on my trio multiplechat with Irza. He asked me where I was, and he told me that he needed to talk to me about something serious, and also asked me where Irza was. Little did I know they came together, both of them, in front of my place. What? How? I have no idea. The thing that I knew was that Irza gave me a bag full of chocolate, nah, not really. It’s a plastic bag with a three chocolate bars, like three?!
And in the end they told me that they wanted to see me, because I’m being not so well since this Monday. Of course, we had like a two hours-ish conversation before. Though that they said they would only be here for minutes, when I told them I didn’t want to see anyone after Raker because it drains out my energy and I needed to recharge. But, whatever. At least we had fun, talking about nothing.
These words above were dedicated to those who just made my day, although I don’t know if any of them would bother to read this. Thank you. You guys might not notice how these little things you did make me this happy. ❤