YEAY I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT’S BEEN TWO FUCKING YEARS! *party* *no, jk. I’m just eating cookies*
I still can remember how I made this blog right after I finished the 10th grade, and I’m afraid of showing my existence off here that I thought about having a new name, when I write.
I also still can remember when it was still silversparksonthedark.wordpress.com, I actually couldn’t remember why I chose the name or how did I end up with it.
I also still remember how I was a little bit obsessed with the name Alex, because it sounded that cool to me. And I no longer fancy the name Angel. (I also used to have a twitter account, a made up one, where no one knows who I really am but Nora, and I told them “just call me Angel, but that’s not my real name”. Hehe.)
But nevermind, I’m all now confident to show off who I really am. I mean, when I write. Eventhough that I write super silly stuffs, here, indeed. And I guess none of my friends really read the blog unless I asked them to, though I already connected the blog itself to almost every social medias I own but to bad what it seems is not that interesting for people to check it out. *cries* but hey, I’m so so so glad that I still made it, I mean, I keep updating the blog since the beginning of this year as I promised to myself, yet I still couldn’t be more productive to write new things that I keep posting old stuffs. Too bad. I’ll try, since I have like months of holiday after I graduated from high school.
And a little story, UI rejected me in SNMPTN. I felt…. a bit frustrated. I mean, I looked for major those are not that famous, and still, I was rejected. I thought I was at least good enough to enter the Russian Literature (I know I had no basic at all in Russian, but I’m so so interested.) but the truth slapped me like, fuck no you’re kidding. So, I decided to join the SBMPTN but I chose Unpad as my second and third choice, and UI is still the first one. And I found out the fact that Unpad has more than 85000 applicants and will only accept like 2000, congratulations to me I’m so hopeless right now.
I went to Bandung for like nine days, 7-16 June 2015, for those tests (SBMPTN and SIMAK UI). Do you even have idea how hard those tests were, especially SIMAK UI? I fucking have no idea what I answered. And yes, I’m still hopeless. I have no hope at all to continue my study this year, even if I could, I will be studying not in the major I really wanted to at the beginning, huh? I still remember that two years ago I already planned things. I already googled things about literature majors. I asked those who were already in their way studying literature. And on my beginning of 12th grade, when most of friends haven’t even thought of the majors or universities they wanted, I already was so sure about my choice. I knew all the concequences. I made the plan B and plan C, in the worst case plan A wouldn’t work. But truth slapped me that hard again, doing the plan B when plan A didn’t work is that hard. I thought that wasn’t. I should’ve prepare myself in case plan B also didn’t work. I’m not gonna fall again, it hurts much.
Experiences are the best teachers, they said. Probably yes. We got lessons, when life brought us down. We knew who our ‘friends’ are. We knew who cares, we knew who just wanted to know. Just so…
“Life is rough, be tough.”